Marching Indians
by blackdragon914
Summary: In the crazed world of the Mascoutah Marching Indians, a strange series of events happen durring their 07 marching season, drum majors become crazy, the colorguard are insane and much more, what will happen to the school when the two are put together?
1. Chapter 1 The Bubble

THE BUBBLE RAPER

Written by Akira Darkin

"MY bubble is MY personal SPACE," Mrs. Zerjal shouted to her first hour communications class. Then something clicked in Miranda's head.

"MY BUBBLE IS BORN!" she yelled while jumping out of her chair and jumping on the table doing the hero pose.

"Miranda, GET THE FUCK OFF THE TABLE!" yelled Mrs. Zerjal pulling out a random rabid purple monkey and setting it on Miranda.

"NOEZ! My bubble will protect me! shine sparkle sparkle" Somehow when the monkey attacked it got deflected by some invisible force. "MY BUBLE LIVES!" she yelled.

That was during first hour, but during seventh hour and also that night, September 14th, 2007 at the football game between the Mascoutah Indians and the Highland Bulldogs at 6:30 PM (wow, a lot) everything changed dramatically (and for the worst for Miranda insert dramatic music here

For the practice Miranda's bubble shine so brightly it caught everyone's eyes, especially one drum majors eyes, Beau.

"TURN DOWN YOUR BUBBLE! THE COLORGUARD CAN'T CONCENTRATE!" Beau yelled as Rebecca looked directly into the bubble while doing a toss and accidentally knocked Mrs. Richter out.

"OMG!" yelled Allison. "I accuse Rebecca with the Roar flag on the practice football field!"

"Ha-ha! You are wrong! It's Rebecca with the Roar flag on the BAND field" Rebecca yelled proudly as she retrieved her Roar flag and when she got back Mrs. Richter popped right back up.

"See Miranda? Turn your bubble down" said Cali (another drum major) as she tried to see if Mrs. Richter was loony from the six foot tall pole that was hurled at her head.

"The ½ time show is tonight and I want everyone on their best behavior! Now go before I make you do something that will make you all groan," Ms. Michael said.

FF TO TONIGT SINCE THE AUTHOR IS TO DAMN LAZY TO WROTE OUT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED DURING THIS TIME PERIOD

"I want a cape!" yelled Heather as she charged at the drum majors. Soon the whole colorguard had the sudden urge to attack the drum majors and followed Heather's lead.

"I'LL SAVE YOU DRUM MAJORS!" yelled Miranda as she jumped in front of the drum majors and her bubble shone brighter and the colorguard keeled over from blindness.

"WTF are we supposed to do now?!" Beau said as he and the other three drum majors helplessly picked up the useless colorguard members and put their prettyful purple and white flags in their hands.

"They were attacking! We wouldn't have the drum majors if I let them continue!" said Miranda turning chibi and crying her eyes out. This went on until the pre-game, and then the colorguard recovered from their blindness (why? Cuz I said so, and we also need them later " heheh). Then Rachel E. the saber captain pulled out a random spray from her purse and sprayed it all over the shining Miranda.

"NOEZ! I'm melting!" hissed Miranda.

"Dude, it dims out the light, just chill," Rachel E. said.

Miranda now looked over at her again invisible bubble and smiled, as pre-game went on the band and guard lined up and waited for the football players to run through them. While Miranda was daydreaming and looking at the clouds Beau came by and got too close. This is where it all happened.

"Can you get out of my bubble?" asked Miranda under her breath as not to get in trouble with Beau.

"Shut it," Beau said moving closer to Miranda.

"you.are.in.my.bubble.beau.get.out." she muttered a little louder.

"shut.it.or.i.will.tell.mrs.richter.to.flunk.you." Beau muttered in anger.

"my.bubble.is.being.invaded!" she yelled for the band and the guard to hear.

Then there was a very faint "pop" and Miranda was devastated.

"HE RAPED MY BUBBLE! BEAU'S A BUBBLE RAPER!"

"What? I did not rape your bubble!" Beau yelled in her face.

"HOW DARE YOU?!" yelled Mrs. Richter.

"WTF is going on?!" yelled the audience, (wtf? They where listening? Oh well!).

"HE RAPED MY BUBBLE!" Miranda yelled as she turned chibi and started crying in the middle of the football field while the colorguard broke formation and went to comfort her while smacking Beau on the head with their purple and white flags as they passed by.

"Why does everyone hate me?" cried Beau with a big huge bump on his head.

"YOU BURST HER BUBBLE!" screamed everyone in the stadium including the Highland side.

FF TO MONDAY BECAUSE THE AUTHOR LOVES IT

"I'm bubble-less" sighed Miranda with a huge depression cloud over her head.

"I'll be your bubble!" squealed Rebecca as she jumped up and shined on the table.

"GET THE FUCK OFF THE TABLE!" yelled Mrs. Zerjal pulling out that same rabid purple monkey.

"I must protect MIRANDA!" said Rebecca pulling out her colorguard rifle and beat the bloody pulp out of the rabid purple monkey.

"NO! MY DEAR DEAR LOLLYPOPYKINS!" mourned Mrs. Zerjal as she picked up the bloody monkey and ran of. The class cheered as Rebecca sat down and started crying.

"What's wrong? MY BUBBLE'S CRYING!" Miranda shouted.

"ARCHER 2.0 (my rifles name, yes I named my rifle) HAS POISONOUS MONKEY BLOOD!" (gasp)

FF TO BAND

"BAND! ATTEND HUT!"

"MASCOUTAH. PRIDE!"

"BAND! ABOUT HASTE!"

"M.H.S"

"MARK TIME, MARK! AND HUP TWO THREE FOUR!"

" instert out of tune voice here Oh where has my bubble gone? Oh where or where can it be? Beau raped it and its now dead, oh where oh where can it be?"

The colorguard and band dropped their equipment/instruments to prevent their ears from bleeding as a sad Miranda sang the horrible tune of her losing her bubble. Suddenly a depression cloud went over Beau's head.

"I'm sorry for bursting-" started Beau.

"YOU RAPED IT!" Miranda shouted.

"DON'T RAPE ME!" screamed Rebecca as she curled up in the fetal position and started crying in the middle of the field.

"I won't rape you," Beau said.

"I hope to Gate not!" said Mrs. Richter and Miranda in unison.

"SHE BELIEVES IN THE GATE! SHE MUST BE AN ALCHEMIST!" said Allison pointing her flute at Mrs. Richter whom had a very guilty look on her face.

"Ok! Just for that I want a 100 minute freeze!" she yelled.

"But the class only lasts for 45 minutes!" Alex said.

"Shut the hell up!" Mrs. Richter said.

"If you keep us longer than 44 minutes, you might get fired," Cali added.

"Ah, touché," said Mrs. Richter.

Then somehow the author broke the fourth wall and a random Iruka appeared with a very large club like weapon and beat Mrs. Richter over the head with it, and then satisfied with his work, he left.

"Ok, I guess this means, we go early?" said Cody (yet ANOTHER drum major) , unsure of the chaos that was going to happen in the next 43 minutes.

FF 43 MINUTES LATER

The school is burning and UFO's are attacking Mascoutah with messages in the soybeans telling to attack the school.

"And you had to say that they had to get off early," Beau said to Cody.

"Well this wouldn't have happened if you hadn't raped Miranda's bubble," Cody muttered under his breath.

"I DID NOT RAPE HER BUBBLE!" yelled Beau.

"NOEZ DON'T RAPE ME!" and again, Rebecca was in the fetal position on the ground.

"Do I even wanna say anymore words?" Beau sighed.

"I suggest you keep your mouth shut and keep an arms length away from everyone," coughed Miranda.

"And WHY did I wanna become a drum major?" Beau pleaded.

"BEACAUSE I TOLD YOU TO! MUAHAHAHA!" a voice came from nowhere, everyone looked and we all saw the Head Pixie Stick come out of the soybeans and Rebecca ran and attacked it…

What is to happen to Rebecca and the Pixie Stick? Will Beau ever admit that he raped Miranda's bubble? Will the author stop effin fastforwarding? Wait and find out in the next few chapters, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


	2. Chapter 2 The Purse

THE PURSE RAPER (Ch. 2)

By Akira Darkin

The next day Rebecca had come out of the soybean field with a very satisfied look on her face and the whole school was somehow rebuilt in less than one day. When she came back she went to her first hour where Miranda was worrying.

"Oh Bubble, Oh Bubble! Wherefore thou Bubble?" she said in a Juliet dress on the table.

"I'm right here, and stop quoting Shakespeare, the author don't have permission to use it in this fic," Rebecca replied as Miranda jumped off the table and ripped off the Juliet dress and reveled her normal clothes (smacks all the perverts out who thought something else and were going to die from a severe nosebleed).

"MY BUBBLE LIVES!" she screamed glomping Rebecca and making her fall to the floor.

"I've been alive, high on Pixie Stix, but alive and well. For the most part," she said with a sly smile on her face that made Miranda want to beat her over the head with her rifle, but then she would be arrested for bubble abuse and be sentenced to 10 minutes in jail, and the slammer was too much for Miranda to handle.

"Hey I like your purse!" said Tevon who was looking at Miranda's blue handbag and slowly inching closer to it.

"BUBBLE! Do something!" Miranda yelled at Rebecca.

"I can't, I have to protect you, not your purse," Rebecca said with a sad look on her face.

Soon Tevon had his hand on the handbag and he put it over his shoulder and walked across the room with it acting girly while Miranda was devastated.

"HE'S RAPING MY PURSE! Well, at least Beau's not raping my bubble," she said

MEANWHILE

"ACHOO!" Beau said as he was rushing to his first period class. "That's funny, it's not allergy season. Dammit! Someone must be talking bad about me. And I have a pretty good idea who, Miranda Patton. Her and her bubble are going down," he said with a sly smile on his face.

AGAIN BACK TO THE SCENE OF THE PURSE RAPE

"ACHOO!" said Miranda as she finally got her purse back from the now girlish Tevon who seemed like he had switched bodies with a girl.

"I'm hungry," said Rebecca slinking down in her seat holding her stomach.

"You always are, not shut it, you're lucky you have A lunch," Miranda groaned as she remembered she had C lunch dramatic music.

As Rebecca turned into an emotional blob on the floor Beau had randomly burst into the room and stood on the table pointing his finger at Miranda and the now blob that was named Rebecca, AKA Miranda's bubble.

"THIS MEANS WAR YOU TWO!" he yelled.

Then all of a sudden the phone Mrs. Zerjal had in her room rang and he answered it.

"Hello?" he answered.

"GET THE FUCK OF THE TABLE! YES BEAU D.! I KNOWW YOU WERE ON THE TABLE!" then dead silence.

"She's kinda creepy," said Miranda as now Rebecca was now getting back into her normal form as a mentally unstable human.

Then the wind blew and Beau made a heroic pose and his hair flailed in the wind.

"This will continue, in BAND/COLORGUARD! Just wait until 7th hour, the torture will start!" he said as he left the room.

"Wow, his hair is poofy, I want to touch it!" said the now re-incarnated Rebecca looking at the door. Then a random folder fell out of the sky and it was addressed for her and it was from the Head Pixie Stick.

"A MISSION!" she screamed and ripped open the envelope. There was a single piece of paper no bigger than the ones you find in fortune cookies, and it read, "Touch Beau's hair."


	3. Chapter 3 The Mission

MISSION: TOUCH BEAU'S HAIR (Ch. 3)

By Akira Darkin

"My mission is clear now, I need…his schedule! James Bond music here."

ELSEWHERE

"For some reason I feel like stalking someone from the yearbook," Beau said out loud in his first period class standing on the desk, and the phone rang again and he answered.

"Hello?"

"GET THE FUCK OFF THE TABLE!" Mrs. Zerjal yelled.

"Mrs. Zerjal? I'm not even in your room," he said looking quizzically at the phone.

"You aren't? Oh…well…Have a nice day then!" and she hung up.

"Now. Whom to stalk," he said pulling out a random year book from nowhere opening it to a random page and putting his finger blindly on the page. "I need to stalk Mr. Sholz?! Umm…NEXT PERSON!"

ELSEWHERE

"You know you see him everyday in the hallway, you can do it then," Miranda said with a new purse since her other purse got raped.

"No, I must be stealthy! I must do it during this time of the day bell rings LETS GO! James Bond music here."

As Rebecca and Miranda went down the hallway to their next class, Beau was searching for his victim of his superspecialawesome stalking skillz (not really): Alexandria F.

"Now I need, her schedule James Bond music."

"STOP STEALING MY MUSIC" said a random James Bond that appeared in front of Beau with an AK-47, then Beau got out a frying pan and knocked him out cold and dragged him into the cafeteria, and today was mystery meat day (AKIRA: wait! So we've been eating James Bond!? NOOOEZ! Ah nevermind).

PAUSE SO THE AUTHOR CAN SOMEWHAT EXPLAIN

Ok, this is Beau (:P)…he wants to stalk Alexandria (XD) but Rebecca (+) has a mission to touch :P's (Beau's) hair and needs :P schedule. But :P needs to stalk XD. But XD is always with + so basically everyone's happy? I guess? NAH! Let's make the story more interesting. looks back I think I made it more complicated.

ON WITH IT

Beau hid behind a locker as Alex (Alexandria) and Rebecca were walking to lunch.

"My time has come!" he thought to himself moving closer.

"OMG PARANOIA" Alex shouted causing Beau to back off.

"WTF?" Rebecca questioned.

"Paranoia kicking in. Someone's stalking me," she said twitching.

"Well, calm down, I bet it's just a feeling,"

Alex shook off the feeling and went in line.

"DAMMIT! I can't do anything as long as Rebecca's with her. I must find something to distract her," he thought evilly pulls out taco "oh yeah," he thought grinning evilly.

1/2 WAY THROUGH LUNCH

As Rebecca was throwing away her lunch she saw a taco on a plate on the floor.

"TACO!" she screamed as she ran after it and it kept on moving farther and farther away from her. "COME BACK TACO! I LUVS YOU!"

"HAHA! My plan worked," Beau thought as he got closer and closer to his target. (to me it seems like he's gonna kidnap her instead of just stalking, AH who cares).

"OMG PAREANOIA! OMG PARANOIA! SOMEONES SUPPOSED TO BE STALKING ME BUT THEY'RE ACTING LIKE THEYRE GONNA KIDNAP ME!" Alex shouted for the whole cafeteria to hear yet no one but Beau noticed since he was on the floor writhing in pain from the loudness of the yell. Then Rebecca came in happily with the taco in her hand and she saw Beau on the floor behind Alex.

"MY TIME HAS COME!" she said as she shoved the taco in her mouth and dove for him. she was so close, then her taco fell out of her mouth 12 feet away and she ran towards the taco forgetting about her mission.

"I should bring more taco's," Beau thought. Then, a strange sensation on his head.

"POOFY HAIR!" said Rebecca.

"Someone! She's touching my hair!"

"Beau, it's my mission to touch your poofy hair," Rebecca said.

"But someone!" he said.

"Poofy," she said.

"SOMEONE!"

"Pretty poofy hair"

"Hey look! A taco!"

"TACO! runs aimlessly around the cafeteria."


	4. Chapter 4 The Sim's Life

The Sim's Life (Ch. 4)

By Akira Darkin

When that long day was done Allison L. was tired and had no idea the whole stalking dilemma happened. She plopped down on the computer in her house and opened the Sims. She got a random urge to pick someone from the yearbook and give them their own Sim person. And her finger landed on no one other than poor poor Beau D.

"Ok, now to screw with the Sim Beau D.'s life." What she didn't know was that in some weirdo way the whole world got screwed up and whenever a real persons name is entered in the database, the Sim version becomes their life too dramatic music here.

FOR THE REST OF THIS CHAPTER…WE WILL REMAIN WITH THE VICTIM-I MEAN BEAU

He walked the long way home since his car suddenly disappeared. He came to his street to find a little wooden shack in replacement of his house.

"Ok, I might be hallucinating," he thought. "Maybe Rebecca screwed something out of my head. Ah, whatever."

He entered the shack to find a little mattress on the floor, a stove and toilet on the other side of the shack and a phone and a really long table on the other. Then the phone rang. Since he couldn't reach the phone he had to climb on the table and answer it.

"Hello?"

"Beau D, you no longer need to attend Mascoutah High School, your job has been determined for you," a random monotone voice said.

"Really? Well what am I?" he asked eagerly.

"A trash man, goodbye."

"Wait WHAT?!" But it was too late. The person had hung up on him. Then another phone call.

"Hello?"

"GET THE FUCK OFF THE TABLE!" yelled Mrs. Zerjal. Since Beau was really pissed off and slightly depressed he hung up the phone and rolled off the table and landed with a loud THUD on the floor.

"I'm a trash man. I'M.A.TRASHMAN?!" he stormed out of the backdoor of his shack and he was astonished at what he saw in the backyard.

"A HUMUNGOUS POOL!" Then it disappeared in from of his own eyes.

"NOEZ! MY POOL!" Then it re-appeared.

"YAY! disappears NOEZ! re-appears YAY! disappears NO- ah forget it!" he said as he went back in his shack where his whole wardrobe has been replaced with the one piece trash man uniform.

"This…isn't a good day for me is it?" Then a random TV appeared next to him and it was turned on to the news channel.

"We interrupt your pathetic life with this breaking news. A new science study released information that when using a living persons name in a popular game called 'the Sims' that person will live the Sims life. That is all," and the TV disappeared like the pool. Beau ran out of his shack and ran around Mascoutah trying to find the source of his misfortune. Suddenly, when he was near the school he had a sudden urge to go to Timberbrook. He followed is senses and he came in front of an unknown home and what he saw startled him.

"Allison L. is playing the Sims with ME!" he yelled for her to hear.

Suddenly she heard something from behind her and turned.

"OMG BEAU YOU STALKER!" she yelled hiding under her desk.

"Stop playing the Sims! I'm a trash man! I live in a shack and I have a pool and TV that keep disappearing and re-appearing!" he said bursting into tears (and turning chibi too if I may add).

"Sheesh, all you needed to do was ask," she said as she deleted the game and then Beau got sucked into a vortex and he landed in his living room of his normal home

"sigh of relief I hope she doesn't do that again," he said plopping down on a sofa and then it disappeared.

"HEY!" he yelled.

"Sorry! It was just too tempting!" the author said.


	5. Chapter 5 The Flagfoot Ball Game

THE FLAGFOOTBALL FLAG RAPE (Ch. 5)

By Akira Darkin

As another day progressed the notsototallysuperspecialawesome boring class of PE came, also the joys of the supernotsototallysuperspecialawesome sport of flag football dramatic music here.

"We will play this sport co-ed," said Mr. Evans.

The guys got evil grins on their faces while all the girls went red in the face the face and slapped the ugys so hard they fell unconscious. For some reason Mr. Evans thanked the girls and didn't write any of them up.

"Since all the guys are unconscious, I need to take them to the nurse. I trust you girls to play fair and not get hurt, got it?" he asked them.

As soon as all the guys were somehow piled on Mr. Evans' back and left for the nurse all the girls except Rebecca, Miranda, and Allison went beastlike and started attacking each other for the neon-orange ball.

"But wait, we don't even have the flags," one of the monstrous girls pointed out. Then they all de-evolved and calmly walked over to get the flags.

"I don't wanna play! The other girls are scary!" yelled Allison turning chibi and crying her eyes out on the middle of the field and started throwing a tantrum.

"The flags are harassing me," Rebecca pointed out as she just realized one of the flags was right at her butt. "No wonder we beat the shit out of the guys when we heard it was gonna be co-ed."

Soon the wind blew and Miranda's back was facing the wind…yeah…I'm not going to go into detail, I'm sure that you all get the idea.

"OMG THE FLAG'S RAPING ME! SAVE ME MY BUBBLE!"

Rebecca soon had the totallysuperspecialawesome drum major cape and she ran to Miranda and pulled off the flags from the side (slaps everyone who thought differently).

Then a random Cody popped up behind Rebecca and took the cape back.

"It's (in a Gollem voice) my precious," he said caressing the cape.

Rebecca and Miranda fainted from shock and Allison was still wailing on the field, until Cody knocked her unconscious because she was being too annoying.

LATER

The three woke up in the nurse's office and the nurse wasn't there, as a matter of fact, no one was there besides them.

"Did we sleepwalk?" they asked each other.

Then the phone rang, and Miranda decided to pick it up.

"Hello?

"GET THE FUCK OFF THE TABLE!" Mrs. Zerjal yelled.

"WE'RE ON THE MEDICAL TABLES! NOT YOURS!" Miranda yelled in the receiver as she threw the phone out the window. Soon the door opened and they all screamed.

"BUBBLE BOY (Beau's new nickname…heheh…lolz) IS STALKING US!" the three of them yelled hugging one another.

"Wtf? I'm the one who saved you guys!" Bubble Boy, I mean Beau, yelled at them.

"He touched all of us How dare you harass us!" Allison yelled pointing a finger at him.

"I'm not even gonna try anymore," he said slamming the door on them and leaving them.


	6. Chapter 6 When Inatimate Objects Attack

WHEN THE INATIMATE OBJECTS ATTACK! (Ch. 6)

By Akira Darkin

Today started out as a normal day for Ashley O, a fellow guard member of Rebecca's, then when she entered the school building, things went seriously wrong for her and Rebecca dramatic music.

As she entered the doors one of them swung back and one almost hit her in the face. When she went to start yelling at the person who swung the door at her, there was no one. In fact, there was no one even near the door.

"That's strange, from my point of view it seems like the door attacked me on its own will. Wait, what? Doors don't have minds! Silly me!" So she shrugged it off and went to put her things away and get ready for her first class.

Another sudden turn of events, her locker bit her! looks back ok fine, it didn't "bite" her, it just closed on her hand and her hand was stuck in there and so it seemed like it "bit" her but it really just closed on her hand.

"OMG MY LOCKER BIT ME!" she yelled out in pain.

"Don't be silly, lockers don't bite," a random person blurted out as they wanted to make a smart remark to her comment, lets call him David.

this next scene is censored out for the readers own good

As Ashley was trying to find a place to hide the dead David, a pole just popped out of nowhere and hit her right smack dab in the forehead.

"WTF?! EVERYTHING IS ATTACKING ME!" she yelled out.

"Nothing can do that," mumbled the "dead" David. Ashley took the random rabid pink squirrel and set it on David, and now he is a lifeless body on the floor again.

As she was dragging the dead David again she ran into Rebecca.

"Rebecca! Help me! I killed David and I don't know where to hide his body!" she panicked.

"Don't worry, there's a cemetery right outside the school remember?" Rebecca reminded Ashley.

"You're right! No one would ever suspect a dead body hiding in a cemetery!" Ashley pointed out.

"Actually that's where all the dead body's are housed, no one will ever think of FINDING a murder victim already buried," Rebecca pointed out again.

"YOU'RE RIGHT! TO THE--" Ashley started.

"Don't let them on to our plan!" Rebecca hissed as she covered Ashley's mouth.

As the two dragged dead David to the cemetery they got hit by 5 poles, 6 doors and 15 stairs.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" yelled Rebecca.

Then her cell phone rang and it was an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU STAND ON MY TABLES!" Mrs. Zerjal yelled while laughing maniacally.

"I get the feeling she set the inanimate objects on us." Ashley said.

"Ya think?! But, you never stood on the tables, it was Beau," Rebecca pointed out.

ELSEWHERE

Beau got hit by 15 doors, 56 poles, and got bit by a locker 99 times so it looked like he went emo.

"WTF?! WHY IS EVERYTHING ATTACKING ME?!" he yelled to the sky. The sky responded by having a baby in the form of a piano.

BACK TO ASHLEY AND REBECCA

As they were still trying to get David buried they needed to find a shovel, but when they found one, it attacked them.

"AH FORGET THIS!" yelled Rebecca as she dumped the body on the ground and kicked it as Ashley fought with the shovel.

"Run Ashley! Run!" yelled Rebecca, then she was soon left in the dust with the shovel. It growled.

"It's on!" she hissed.


	7. Chapter 7 The Massage Circle

THE MASSAGE CIRCLE (Ch. 7)

By Akira Darkin

The night of September 28, 2007 there was a football game between the Mascoutah Indians and the Triad Knights. The colorguard was tense and the band was panicking and the band was hyperventilating.

The teachers were also panicking and had no idea what to do, so they all keeled over and died.

"ZOMG! WE KILLED THE TEACHERS!" a random bandmember said.

"ZOMG! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!" yelled another. While the band was now panicking AND hyperventilating the guard was in worse shape.

"Let's see a single on the rifles," yelled Stephanie the Rifle captain.

One, two, DROP! Four, five, DROP!

"Will! It's not a quintuple!" hissed the now angered Stephanie.

"Sorry, I have selective hearing!" he yelled from the back of the gym.

"Let's see a quintuple, thanks to WILL!" Stephanie said even more angered.

One, two, DROP, DROP, DROP, DROP, CATCH!

"WTF was that!? That was crap!" Stephanie said red in the face.

"That rhymed!" Mouse said happily.

"Shut it! Let's see a double," Stephanie said rubbing her temples trying not to go murderer on the guard's asses.

One, two, three, DROP!

"This…is not gonna be good," sighed Stephanie.

"YA THINK?! Everyone dropped a SINGLE!" yelled Rachel Evans beating the crap out of her rifle, blaming it that it was the rifles fault that she had dropped the single.

"Um…ok…let's just pray and hope for the best," Stephanie pleaded.

"What if you're atheist?" Rebecca questioned.

"Ummm…then hope for the best?"

FF

Ten minutes before the ½ time show was on the colorguard had all their equipment and they were panicking while the band as MIA (Missing In Action).

Somehow Mrs. Smith was revived and she was trying t calm the guard down with no luck.

"Let's have a massage circle!" Tiffany yelled.

The guard agreed and dropped their equipment and formed a circle. Then a helicopter flew by and started hovering over the circle.

IN THE HELECOPTER

"Welcome to CNN headline news. What we are witnessing is some sort of strange phenomenon. It's…a…massage circle. Mmmm, would I like to be in one of those, oh yeah…mmmhmmm…oh…the massage circle changed! It evolved into a massage blob! Wow, and was that at their feet? OMG TIS RIFLES! AND SABERS! AND 6 FOOOT TALL POLES WITH CLOTH AT THE END! AHHHH! No wait, that's just the guard equipment, sorry!"

WITH THE GUARD

"For some reason I feel like I want to shoot down the helicopter with my rifle," Mouse said slowly aiming her rifle upward. Then Ashley Peterson jumped in front of Mouse and took the rifle out of her hands.

"I now take your place for the rifle part!" she yelled triumphantly.

Muse now turned chibi and started crying. Now the massage amoeba was broken and the band was till MIA.

When it was time to switch, Rachel Evans had taken Ethan with her.

"Why are you doing that?" Tiffany asked curiously.

"MY ETHAN!" she yelled glomping him and making him fall to the ground.

"Ummm…what was that about?" Rachel Baker asked.

They soon found out when he started massaging her shoulders she melted.

"Umm…that didn't happen before," Ethan told the guard worriedly.

"I think I'm a little too relaxed," Rachel Evans said smiling in her now bloblike body.

By the time she solidified the ½ time show was going to begin, but still, no band.

When the guard was set up, they were about to start when a huge puff of smoke appeared and the band dramatically appeared in parade rest.

"WHERE THE F-" the guard started.

"BAND! ATTENTION!"

"MASCOUTAH! PRIDE!"

"-WERE YOU?! WE WERE F(someone yells go Mascoutah)NG WAITING AND WHAT THE F(someone sneezes) IS WITH THE F(someone else sneezes)ING SMOKE?!" Once the guard was done the band was all ready to begin.

All went well until the second song. The grass was slippery from the smoke. The guard was running in a straight line, suddenly Ashley O. fell causing Rebecca to fall causing Kristen to fall causing Tiffany to fall causing Heather to fall and so on and so forth (in other words a domino effect). When the last guard member fell Ashley O jumped back up and kept on doing the work.

Once the whole guard was up the band was going around them. Soon Alex, Allison, Miranda, Dominic, and 40 other bandmembers (hey we have 144 band people, we can afford to lose a few) were on the floor KOed.

Once the paramedics took away the bodies the last song started. All went well again, if it wasn't for the wind. At the last flag toss the wind blew at 100+ MPH as Rebecca's flag was in the air. It flew causing Julie (the other drum major that I just learned her name), Cali, and Cody to fall off since their legs were struck. Beau however, had no such luck. He got knocked in the head falling over on a judges table KOed.

"GET THE FUCK OFF THE TABLE!" Mrs. Zerjal yelled with a megaphone in her hand.

"HE'S KO-ED!" yelled Cody limping to his fallen comrade.

"XP" said Beau.

When the colorguard picked up their equipment and the band (or what was left of it) marched off the field, the crowd cheered.

In the gym Mrs. Smith (the guard instructor) wasn't there, but someone took her place, Mr. Scholz (the principal).

"What kind of performance was that?!" he yelled at the guard.

"We're sorry Mr. Scholz," they all said in unison.

"You guys are the worst guard ever," he yelled.

Then Rachel E. pulled out her saber and yelled "Enguard!" Mr. Scholz then pulled out a saber of his own and dramatic/intense music played in the background. Insert fight scene here.

"You're good Rachel E.," Mr. Scholz said tired out. "I surrender." And he fainted.

The guard cheered and hugged Rachel E. when Mrs. Smith appeared out of nowhere.

"What happened to Mr. Scholz?!" she asked. Then she pulled out a saber of her own and yelled "Enguard!"

"Oh please," Will said as he took out his saber and fought Mrs. Smith.

FF 5 MIN LATER

Mrs. Smith was tired out and collapsed. Will had a triumphant look on his face when the bandmembers that were KOed in the show appeared.

"REVENGE!" they yelled as they pulled out their instruments.

"There're too many of them!" the guard yelled pulling out the rifles, sabers and flags.

The band charged, the guard charged.

FF 5 MIN LATER

The band again was KOed on the floor and their instruments were unharmed.

"That was convenient?" said Mouse as she now realized they wouldn't have to pay for damaged instruments.

Then Mrs. Richter came in.

"WTFRIK!? WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!"

The author WOULD add another fight scene, but this chapter's been…how do you say it…fightsy and angry…so I'm stoping it here…hopefully the next chapter will be happy happy joy joy…thinks NAH!


	8. Chapter 8 Telepathic Stalking

TELEPATHIC STALKING (Ch. 8)

By Akira Darkin

For some random reason, Bubble Boy (I mean Beau " heheh) had a random urge to go to a fortune teller since the voice in his head known as his conscience told him to.

Once inside a random purple psychic tent that appeared on Main St. there was a really old lady that looked like she would have a dinosaur for a pet was in the center with a crystal ball and a table and a turban.

"Come young child and get your fortune told my Lady Asmagauwifhmajohngshitherhitz," said the lady.

"Ummmmmm…I'm not a child, I'm a junior in high school," he said slowly edging away from him.

"Nonsense! I can see inside your soul! You're a child at heart!" she said.

"Isn't everyone?" he asked suspiciously.

"Lady Asmagauwifhmajohngshitherhitz knows all! Do not question me!" she said pulling him down on a chair.

"Now gaze with me in the crystal ball."

He looked yet also kept his spacing with Lady Asmagauwifhmajohngshitherhitz (thank gosh for Ctl + V)

"I see…that you want to have a connection with a group called the colorguard, yes, its coming clearer. You want to know what goes on!" she yelled pointing a finger at him.

"Um…" he started.

"In a few minutes I will give you a power, but in the process Lady Asmagauwifhmajohngshitherhitz will no longer be!"

Then as Beau was about to run out of the tent Lady Asmagauwifhmajohngshitherhitz burst into flame and he was suddenly in Mrs. Zerjal's room on the table.

"Oh crappamalage (© Allison L.)" he said.

"GET THE FUCK OFF THE TABLE!" she yelled starting to charge.

He closed his eyes knowing he had lived a happy life when he appeared in the band room. And it was also 7th hour.

"I wonder what the guard is doing," he thought to himself.

Soon he was a tunnel in his head and he saw the guard stretching from one's point of view.

WITH THE GUARD

"Ashley O! Get back to it!" Rachel E. said as she was about ready to throw something at her.

"For some reason I have a feeling that someone is watching us from a very distant land thousands of miles away," she said with a dazed look on her face.

"Get back into stretching or my foot will be up your-"

WITH B.B (BUBBLE BOY)

The connecting got cut and a voice rang in his head of lady Asmagauwifhmajohngshitherhitz.

"For your power to stay, you must need something with essence of someone you want to watch."

"Cool, I have stalking powers," he said to himself as Cody was snapping his fingers in front of Beau.

"Hey! Earth to Beau D.! CONDUCT! DON'T DAYDREAM!"

Beau sighed as he stood on the podium pondering what he should take from the guard to see what really happens.

As 7th hour ended he found a pair of gloves that belonged to a guard member on a table. "Assuming" they were lost he took them and ran to his locker and shoved them in his bag.

"I'm becoming a stalker of the guard. I'm a thief. I'm a criminal. This is fun," he thought evilly to himself.

WITH THE GUARD 2 DAYS LATER

"My gloves are missing!" Ashley O. said.

"My parade flag's missing!" yelled Tiffany.

"My underwear is gone!" yelled Will.

Everyone scooted away from him as they all complained as how all their equipment had suddenly disappeared.

"We will call them…the Guard-Clefto stalker! And we must find them before they strike again!" yelled Stephanie holding up a saber in a dramatic pose.

WITH BEAU

In his car trunk there were five pairs of gloves, ten flags, a pair of underwear, and five shorts.

"I must know what is going on with the guard. The essences of them already wore off of these objects. I need more!" he yelled in his home when the same purple tent appeared in his room.

He went in and saw Lady Asmagauwifhmajohngshitherhitz.

"Lady Asmagauwifhmajohngshitherhitz! I need more essence of the guard!"

"Enough! You have stalked them for too long! They suspect something! This is when I take my power back from you and you will never have me come to you again!"

She snapped her fingers and the tent was gone. He was devastated. He went to an emotional blob on the floor and cried to his hearts content. He went to his car when he was solidified and made a huge bonfire with all the things he had stolen from the guard.

"Never again will I stalk!" he yelled. "This is a promise I intend to keep!


	9. Chapter 9 Emo Bubble Boy

EMO BUBBLE BOY! (Ch. 9)

By Akira Darkin

The next day the drum majors minus Beau were trying to handle the band since Mrs. Richter and Ms. Michael were nowhere in sight.

"What are we going to do?" yelled Cali over the roar of the band students demanding candy.

"We need Beau! He can do something!" prayed Cody trying to use Julie as a shield.

Suddenly the doors burst open and a strange figure walked in. A guy about bubble boy's height came in. He had black hair with a blonde streak, man ear piercing and an eyebrow ring. He had all black clothes and chains with many cross accessories and black make up with a tear effect on his left eye, not to mention black nails.

The band went silent and cowered in their seats.

"And, who are you?" asked Cali holding up a conducting stick in defense.

"I am Jagger, formerly known as Beau D.," the guy said.

"BEAU D.?!" the whole band yelled as they were in shock.

"You went emo!" Allison L. shouted.

"I was in my room yesterday when it hit me. We are only on this earth to die, what happens when we die? Only the dead know, and certain people can bring back the dead," he said in a monotone voice.

"He lost his usual personality," Julie whispered to the other drum majors.

"Even though the sunlight beats down on me I still feel no warmth," he said again in a monotone voice as he made his way to the podium. The other drum majors move out of the way afraid of what the new Beau D. (now known as Jagger) had to offer.

"Now as my quote before, we are only on this earth to die, who wants to do something as mediocre as play music?" he asked the band.

No one dared answer the mentally unstable emo guy.

"No answer came the stern reply," he said taking a conducting stick and raised it. The whole band ducked behind the sticks since they did not want to be the victim of the very sharp yet flimsy stick of doom.

"What's wrong?" he asked

"Put the sharp object down and step away from the band!" yelled Cali and Cody as they slowly regressed.

"What are you talking about?" Jagger…umm…Beau… ummm… Bubble Boy…ummm yeah that dude said.

Jagger got off the podium and went to comfort the three drum majors, and then Ethan came out with a saber and stood in front of Cody.

"Stay away evil emo force of evil!" he said.

"What the fuck?" the emo guy (he has too many names) said.

"I know you want him! Well too bad! He's mine!" Ethan yelled at the emo dude poking him in the stomach with the saber.

"I'm not trying to steal him if that's what you mean," the emo dude said.

"You better not," Ethan said disappearing into thin air leaving Cody defenseless.

"Now then," emo boy started. "Anyone want to run away so they are sure I won't hurt them even though I won't?"

In five seconds flat the band room was empty. Emo boy looked around also to see the drum majors gone, too.

"Sigh, well life's a bitch then you die," he said.

ELSEWHERE

Rebecca suddenly started twitching uncontrollably and fell to the floor while her rifle was in the air. Let's just say that poor poor Rebecca won't see the next few chapters for a while.

MEANWHILE

Julie was running back home hopefully to escape the crazed drum major when she saw a purple tent in the middle of the street and she got sucked into it.

"Ah, Julie, I get the vibe that something is troubling you."

"Who are you?"

"Lady Asmagauwifhmajohngshitherhitz, now tell me, what's wrong?"

"There's a guy, he changed-" Julie started.

"Ah, I know who, Beau isn't it?"

Julie nodded.

"I will give you a power, for only this once to destroy his emo force," Lady Asmagauwifhmajohngshitherhitz said bursting into flame and only a small paper was in the place. Julie picked up the paper and read it.

"The magic word is: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."


	10. Chapter 10 The Hazardous Flute

The Hazardous Flute (Ch. 10)

By Akira Darkin

Since a lot has been happening in the screwed up world of band and colorguard, the author has decided to screw with it even more.

When Julie saw the emo Beau she pointed at him and yelled supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and he exploded into glitter that fell through the air. The guard oohed and awed and started clapping for an encore (look up "wgi fantasia for see why). Julie was confused and ran off. Then the custodian came, swept up the glitter and threw it in the dumpster.

Then Allison went to her band locker to find that her flute was missing. She turned chibi and started crying until a random present fell from the sky and landed in front of her. She opened it and it was a flute. But something was different about it. It had a strange green and purple glow radiating from it.

"Oh well!" she said assembling it and went with Cali and the other flautists to tune.

When she played an A, Jessica fell on the floor knocked out.

"Probably dehydration," Cali said as she went on tuning the flutes ignoring the knocked out Jessica. Then when Allison played again Miranda fell unconscious next to Jessica.

"Man dehydration, and it isn't even band camp, DRINK WATER FOLKS!" she yelled to the band as she kept on TRYING to tune the flutes. But as soon as Allison played another note on the flute another flautist fainted. Soon it was just Cali and Allison.

"This isn't dehydration," Cali said confused.

"You think?! The whole section of flutes had been knocked out and it wasn't the guards fault!" Allison said.

"HEY!" the guard minus Rebecca who is still knocked out from the last chapter.

"There's something wrong with the flute, give it to me," said Cali as she took the radiating flute from Allison and played a note. When she played it she fainted.

Cody came over to see Allison standing in the middle of the many knocked out flutes and a drum major.

"What is the meaning of this?" Cody asked in a police-type-thing.

"I am as clueless as you are," Allison told Cody while getting the radiating flute.

"Can you at least try to explain?" he asked annoyed.

"We were trying to tune when everyone just fell over when I played a note," Allison explained.

Cody snapped and everyone that had fainted had gotten up and they had a dazed look on their faces.

"What…is going on?" Allison and Cody said in unison.

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, wont you say you love me too?" sang the dazed flautists and drum major holding hands and standing in a circle.

"ZOMG!" cried Allison. "They're singing the Barney song!"

The rest of the band fell to the floor covering their ears stopping them from bleeding.

Allison had a feeling that the flute was the source of the problem. She went to the window and threw it towards the football field. Then something strange happened. It came flying back and it went through a closed window and knocked Cody unconscious before going back to Allison's hand. Then Cody jumped up and joined the flutes singing the "I love you" song.

"What is going to happen to the rest of the band?!" Allison screamed? "This flute's possessed by the evil spirit of Barney! It's like a virus that will spread! How long before the school will have it!?"

FAST FORWARD 10 MINIUTES LATER WITH THE GUARD

"Where is the band?! They said they were going street marching!" Rachel E. yelled at the guard angrily.

"It's not our fault they're late!" Tiffany said.

Rachel E. angrily went into the band room to see what was taking the band so long. When she was inside the room she was shocked. All the band members were in a huge circle holding hands singing "I love you" and Allison was in a cardboard box in the corner shaking like a leaf. Rachel E. dramatically ran to Allison and saved her and locked the band doors. The guard was surprised that Rachel E. was tired and Allison was shaking.

After Allison explain the story the guard made sure she was a good pole-length away from them

"It's not my fault!" Allison cried. "How should I know the flute is pure evil?"

"From the purple and green lights radiating from it," Will said slowly coming towards the flute.

"So now the band is Barney-fied," stared Rachel E, "What are we going to do now?"

"Try playing the flute at them again suggested Kaytlin. "But not near us!"

Allison got pushed into the locked band room and played. The guard peeked in to see the band getting their instruments. The guard cheered. Then Cody and Cali started conducting and they played the "I love you" song. The guard and Allison ran away from the room and went to the big football field.

"That only made it worse!" yelled Ethan.

"How in the world do we de-Barney-fie them?!" yelled Rachel E.

Then a piece of paper fell out of the air and a gust of wind 10 MPH hit making the paper fly away. Stephanie knew somehow the paper was vital for the bands normalization. After chasing it aimlessly fro about five minutes it landed in front of Rachel B. When Stephanie stopped she fell on Rachel B. as Rachel E, picked up the piece of paper and read it aloud.

"'To normalize the band, sprinkle glitter on them, but be warned. Whoever does put the glitter on the band they will die a horrible and painful death,'" Rachel E. read. She looked grimly at the guard and Allison.

"I vote Ashley P!" Ashley O. yelled

"I second that!" yelled Ashley H.

"I third that!" yelled Will.

"I forth that!" yelled Britteny.

"OK, let's take a vote," said Rachel E. "Who wants Ashley P?" she asked.

Everyone but Ashley P raised their hand including Allison.

"The majority wins," Rachel E. said pushing Ashley towards the band room.

"Why me?! Anyways I need glitter," Ashley P yelled. The whole guard checked their purses and pockets, yet no glitter was found, a first for the guard. Then all of a sudden Stephanie's feet were poking out of the dumpster and she pulled out a hand full of glitter.

"I founded-ed some!" she said smiling.

She gave it to Ashley P. and pushed her into the band room. From the doorway the guard could see her sprinkling the glitter on the band and one by one they fell unconscious again. Once the last bandie was down Ashley P. yelled and she burst into flames and disappeared off the face of the earth. After that the band woke up all holding their heads.

"What happened?" asked the band.

Allison was so happy she glomped the whole band almost slipping on the glitter. Then the glitter evolved into bits and pieces of Beau. Alex F. was near his head, his arms were on the podium and one of his feet was on a chair.

"Man, what happened?" said the head.

Alex was so shocked and she fainted.

"Where's the rest of me?" he asked.

"OMG BEAU'S BEEN CHOPPED UP!" yelled Cali and Cody in unison.

Stephanie knew what was going on and went out of the band room. Everyone else just looked at Beau's head.

"Ummm…so…how's everything?" he asked.

Everyone in the band and guard fainted. Then a mysterious shadowlike figure in the form of a huge stick came in and took the fluyte from Allison.

"Yes, my plan is coming together…the MCHS band ill pay for killing me! THE HEAD PIXIE STICK! AKA BEAU DOWNEYDOODLE!" yelled the head pixie stick.


	11. Chapter 11 Gliding Backmarching Fiasco

Gliding/Back Marching (Ch. 11)

By MattsyKun (my friend...not me)

After the flute fiasco, the band and guard only had one more parade to do. So they went outside to street march.

"WTF?!" Cali and Cody said in unison as three trumpets, to flutes, four clarinets, a trombone, Julie, T.J. all slipped on something. Julie, unfortunately, was on the bottom. Then three guard members slipped and fell on top of the pile of band students.

"What's going on?" Bubble Boy, I mean Beau (yes he's revived now), said as the pile sorted itself out. Julie was lying on the ground twitching. The band finally looked around.

"IT SNOWED?!" Cali shouted.

"It's magic! He must be a witch!" Rebecca (yes she too got revived from her a coma) shouted, pointing at a random person which just so happened to be Ethan.

"BURN THE WITCH!" Mrs. Richter and Mrs. Smejkal shouted, randomly pulling out flamethrowers. Where they got them I have no idea.

"Noez!" Cody said jumping in front of Ethan. He was promptly turned into a pile of ashes with two adorable chibi eyes and a whistle. Ethan scooped Cody up and put him in a jar.

"You're cute in a jar!" Ethan squealed, hugging the jar. Everyone awed until Mrs. Richter called them to attention.

"We're going to march up that conveniently placed hill there!" Mrs. Richter shouted. Rebecca dragged the guard (even though she's not a captain) to the back of the band, away from the deranged teacher.

Beau was the last drum major in the drum major lineup. Rebecca found herself staring at the back of Beau's head as they marched up the hill. Beau blinked.

"Is it just me, or are we getting farther away from the rest of the band?" he said.

Rebecca looked up. The band was scooting away little by little.

"What the heck?" Heather said.

"It's not just you; we do seem to be getting farther and farther away," Allison said.

"Hey great back marching!" Mrs. Smejkal shouted just as Beau realized what was going on.

"WE'RE NOT BACK MARCHING! WE'RE GLIDING!" he shouted

"Yeah, that's what it's supposed to look like! Great job flutes and guard!" Mrs. Smejkal shouted back.

"NO! WE'RE LITTERALLY GLIDING!" Beau screamed at the top of his lungs. At this point the flute section and the guard and Beau were sliding down the ice-covered hill at 30 MPH.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they shouted as they reached the bottom of the hill. The band reached the top.

"Where's the flute section?" Cali said looking around. She was the head drum major as Cody was being carried around by Ethan while he was doing the routine…and occasionally tossing the flat…O.o

"Good riddance. We had too many flutes anyways," Mrs. Richter said. Two flags and a bunch of rocks pelted the band director.

"Ow…" Mrs. Richter said, falling to the guard twitching. Julie gave a thumbs-up to the flute section at the bottom of the hill, and then fell back over because of her horrible injuries from having a bunch of people and instruments fall on her.

Meanwhile Beau's group had fallen on the ice.

"Help! We're falling and we can't get up!" the flutes, Bubble Boy, and the guard said in perfect unison.

Suddenly, a loud voice came over a megaphone.

"HAHAHAHA. RELL THE WRATH OF THE DOWNEYDOODLE FAMILY! KUKUKUKUKU (cough cough) kuku kuku (hack, choke die)."

"O.O 0.o?" said the band.


	12. Chapter 12 Demonic Furbies

Demonic Furbies + Soul Collecting (featuring the heroric orange paperclip) CH. 12

By Akira Darkin

As Will N. was searching for something in his basement he found a whole box full of furbies. Thinking his soul collecting was getting small he took the furbies to his room from…"reprogramming."

LATER

As Rebecca opened her locker there was a mysterious present in it. It didn't say who it was from but she opened it anyways. It was a pink furbie with blue eyes. She was excited.

"I shall name you Michael!" she said hugging it.

When she went to English she took Michael with her and she was Miranda and Jessica with furbies too. Theirs were black and white with red eyes.

"WOW! You got furbies too!" Rebecca yelled.

"Yeah, but mine changed, it looked like yours at first," said Miranda.

"Me hungry," Michael said in a sweet voice. Rebecca awed as she put her finger in its mouth and it bit her and drew blood.

"OW! It bit me!" yelled Rebecca.

Jessica and Miranda held up their fingers which had bandages on them.

"We know," they said in unison.

They gave Rebecca some bandages and her now pink furbie had turned black with demonic red eyes.

"This furbie's weird…" said Rebecca pushing it away. When the bell rand she purposely left it at the table she was sitting at and went to her locker to get her stuff for second hour. When she opened her locker the furbie was there glaring at her with demonic eyes.

"Me HUNGRY!" it shouted at her as she screamed and tripped over her feet and lo and behold, she landed on Will.

"Watch it next time Becca!" he said pushing her off.

"There's a demonic furbie in my locker!" she cried clutching his leg since she was still on the floor.

"What demonic furbie?" he said looking in her locker.

When she looked only her books were in there and were in there and the furbie as nowhere in sight. She gathered herself and her belongings as she made her way to second hour. When she saw her desk the furbie was there waiting for her.

"ME HUNGRY FOR YOUR SOUL!" it shouted at her. She screamed and ran to the furbie and threw it out the window in a pond.

"What was that for? It only wanted your soul," Mr. Carmody said.

Rebecca fainted and woke up 5 seconds later on the floor with the furbie on her chest.

"HUNGRY!" it said.

Rebecca slammed the wet furbie on the floor and took out the batteries and threw them in the garbage can on the other side of the school.

By lunchtime she had tried to get rid of the furbie 1,062 times.

When Rebecca sat down for lunch the furbie had replaced her food.

"HUNGRY!" it yelled again.

"Oh shut up, Michael," she said tossing it in the garbage can.

"I can help you!" Alex said striking a pose. She took a random piece of tape, a purple string and an orange paperclip and tied them on t Rebecca's choker. "Yay!" she said.

Then the furbie got out of the trashcan and walked over to Rebecca. "HUN-" then it disappeared into thin air. The orange paperclip was glowing and somewhere thousands of miles away Will N. collapsed on the floor knowing one soul had rejected the furbie.

"I must get souls…for my collection!" he said struggling to get up. Rebecca ran to Miranda and Jessica's classes and the furbies screamed and disappeared.

"I must find this source of evil!" Rebecca shouted heroically.

"No need to look any further!" shouted Will.

"So, you're the one who gave us the demonic furbies that tried to take our souls!" Rebecca exclaimed.

"Yes it was I, now you must beat me in a game of wits and cunning, rock, paper, scissors!" he said in a deep demonic voice.

"You're on!" Rebecca shouted.

"Rock, paper, scissors!" both said.

"Ha! Paper covers rock!" said Rebecca.

"Best 2 out of 3," Will said.

"Nevah! (© Alex)!" shouted Rebecca as she threw the orange paperclip at Will and he burst into a pile of ashes with chibi eyes. Rebecca got a random jar and put him in there.

"Now you are gonna serve your time in the slammer!" she said as she locked him in her locker.

"And the day is saved, thanks to…the paperclip! Wait…Where is the paperclip?!" (insert dramatic music here)


	13. Chapter 13 Switched!

Switched

Switched!

By Akira Darkin

The Mascoutah Marching Indians were going to go to Pickneyville for a competition. Now before the band and colorguard did anything Becca picked up a strange cold that she got from nowhere.

While waiting for the band to line up she kept on sneezing, she heard a "bless you" and then she dramatically fell on the floor and blacked out, what she didn't know was that Beau had said "bless you" and he too dramatically fell on the floor and blacked out.

WITH THE BAND

"Beau! Beau! Wake up you're in the middle of the street!" yelled Cali.

The thing is Beau wasn't well Beau, but Becca in Beau's body that I will now refer to as Beau/Becca.

"ZOMG! WHAT HAPPENED?!" yelled Beau/Becca.

"You fainted…now get up, you need to march!" yelled Cali as she pushed Beau/Becca into line and Beau/Becca started everything.

When the band started marching Beau/Becca's eyes almost bleed.

"STOP!" yelled Beau/Becca. "My eyes are bleeding! You guys cannot march or keep in step! God do we need to go over basics of marching again?!"

"Umm…I never noticed that before…umm…guard go ahead!" yelled Cody as he and the drum majors turned and looked ominously at the band.

"I never knew Beau could be so harsh," whispered the band members.

Beau/Becca sighed as Cody divided up the band into four groups so they could all work on basics.

Unfortunately for Beau/Becca's group, they suffered as they tried to keep in step and play at the same time as Beau/Becca threatened to eat their souls if they didn't do it right

WITH THE GUARD

"Ok, everyone do 100 drop spins," Rae said.

"100 WHAT?!" yelled Becca/Beau.

"Very funny Becca, now come on!"

Since Beau had no idea what in the world was going on he tried to do the best he could. Then when he found out he need to spin the flag he ended up hitting Ethan and Will.

"STOP! Becca what's wrong with you?!" Rae yelled at her.

"I'm not Becca!" Becca/Beau yelled.

"Then who are you? You look like Becca to me," said Rae with a heck of a lot of sarcasm in her voice.

"I'm Beau!" Becca/Beau yelled.

The guard burst out laughing except for Rae.

"Everyone 200 drop spins! But for 'Beau' here, 200 push ups," Rae said ominously.

"I'm…gonna die," thought Becca/Beau as she/he got on the street ready to do 200 effin push ups.

WITH THE BAND

Beau/Becca's group were little puddles on the street with instruments while Beau/Becca's head was steaming.

"How can you guys march like this?! You're lucky I'm not hungry for souls!" Beau/Becca yelled.

The puddles eventually started crying and Beau/Becca yelled at the rest of the band to either march right or face the wrath of him/her. After the bodies re-solidified they marched and played in perfect tune and stayed in step

"Finally! My eyes!" Beau/Becca praised.

WITH THE GUARD

"STOP!" yelled Rae as Becca/Beau collapsed on the floor after 199 ½ pushups.

"Ok now, do you think you can do drop spins now?" Rae asked Becca/Beau.

"Owie."

Then the bell rang as Becca/Beau ran off of the street with arms down since they had no feeling, then Becca/Beau ran into Beau/Becca.

"YOU HAVE MY BODY!" both yelled at each other.

"I had to do 200 pushups since I couldn't spin!" cried Becca/Beau.

"Let's just say the band will march better, but their opinion changed of you," Beau/Becca smirked.

"How do we get back into our own bodies?" Becca/Beau cried.

"Ummm… (sneeze)"

"Bless you."

Then they both collapsed on the floor and they woke up and they were back in their own bodies, yet Beau as now a brunette and Becca a blonde.

"I like my hair blonde!" Becca said as she ran off with her arms flailing since SHE was used to all the workouts with the guard.

"NO! I'm not meant to be a brunette!" yelled Beau as he ran after Becca hoping she would sneeze, but a part of him feared it.

"That's it! To the Hair Salon!" (dramatic music here)


	14. Chapter 14 The Fruit Throne

The Fruit Throne (Ch

The Fruit Throne (Ch. 14)

By Akira Darkin

"Guys, you need to sell fruit to help us go to New York," Mrs. Richter announced to the band.

Becca now being in band since guard/marching season was over groaned at the thought that he needed to sell fruit and for the next month sat on her lazy ass and only sold a measly small box of oranges.

When the fruit came and Becca came for her shift she almost fell back to see so much fruit in one area.

"I will never sell this much," she thought as she made her way to the tangelo's and sat on the floor waiting for orders.

Near her were the apples and two bored drum majors, Cody and Beau. Cali was also bored, yet she had a camera, so her time was filled up.

"I'm bored," stated Cody flopping down on a box of apples.

"You're not the only one," Beau sighed. Then a light bulb went on in his head.

Cody tilted his head in curiosity as beau started moving the large apple boxes.

About five minutes later a simple chair of apples where Beaus sat and relaxed.

"Yay!" squealed Cody as he sat.

"MINE!" yelled Beau as he pushed Cody off of the throne and Cody had a single tear.

"B-B-B-B-Beau?" Cody stuttered.

Cali randomly popped out of one of the boxes and took a picture.

"Click!" she said as she went back in the box and disappeared.

"I thought we were friends!" yelled Cody pointing a finger at Beau.

"Fetch me my cape and my crown!" thundered Beau pointing a finger at the uniform room.

"Yeah right," Cody muttered as he was then hit in the head with a rotten apple.

"Now slave!" Beau yelled.

Cody bowed and ran to get a cape and a hat with a plume on it.

"Here you go your majesty," cowered Cody.

Beau put them on and a yellow glow radiated from him.

"I am the new king of this band room! All of you are my slaves!" Beau announced.

No one really paid any attention to Beau since they were too busy filling orders.

"STOP IN THE NAME OF ME!" commanded Beau and somehow everyone stopped in their tracks and turned to the drum major that was on the throne of apples. "I am now your king! I have dethroned Mrs. Richter and Ms. Smejkal, you now all obey me!"

"Click!" went Cali as she took a picture of the new king.

"Now, stop what you are doing and entertain me since I'm bored," Beau said.

Becca was asleep on the floor and woke up to a booming voice in her ear.

"Do you spin rifle?"

"YEEEEEEEES," she said sleepily.

"Entertain me with a routine," Beau commanded.

"Five more minutes," Becca said closing her eyes and turning away from Beau.

"NOW!"

SLAP! Becca had slapped Beau across the face from her reaction of slapping when she sleeps that some people learn the hard way (example A: what just happened now with Beau).

Beau ordered four people to get her by the limbs and throw her out of the band room into the freezing rain outside.

"Good riddance," Beau muttered to himself rubbing the red hand mark on his face thanks to Becca. "Anyone else want to entertain me?"

Everyone but Cody and Cali left while the two drum majors just looked at Beau.

"Tyrant," whispered Cody.

"Click!" went Cali.

"What am I supposed to do now? I'm the king of nothing!" he cried.

The all of a sudden Mrs. Richter and Mrs. Smejkal came in and saw Beau on the throne with a cape and the hat.

"How dare you take over the band?!" yelled Mrs. Richter going over to Beau and smacking him upside the head.

"You may be the king but we are the gods! And we now dethrone the king!" Mrs. Smejkal said as she pushed Beau off of the throne and making him to a face plant on the floor.

"Click!" went Cali.

"Where is the rest of the band?" asked Mrs. Richter as she looked around and she saw a body on the street outside face down.

"You killed a band member! How dare you?! Her spirit will come back and haunt you forever Beau! Mark our words! FOREVER!" echoed Mrs. Richter as an ominous black cloud loomed over the band.


	15. Chapter 15 The Haunted Ficus

The Haunted Ficus Ch

The Haunted Ficus Ch. 15

By Akira Darkin

Ever since Becca died, there was a gloomy feeling around the band room and Mrs. Richter randomly had a ficus in her room the day after, in other words, Becca's re-incarnation.

Ever since Cali was a little kid, she always wanted a ficus. When she saw it she stuffed it in her saxophone case and she pretended nothing ever happened.

When she was home she put the ficus right next to her and began to practice.

"Hey Cali…yeah I'm talking to you," the Ficus said.

"Man. I think the ficus is speaking tome," Cali said to herself.

"Yes I am Cali; hey…you're out of tune. You're flat! VERY FLAT!" yelled the Ficus.

"Hey! Don't criticize my superspecialawesomesaxophoneplayingskillz!" she yelled at the ficus.

"You're reeds gonna break in 5, 4, 3, 2…"

"OMG! My reed broke!"

"Heheh…sucks for you Cali."

"Evil, possessed Ficus!" she pointed at the Ficus and it vanished.

She let out a sigh of relief. Then there was a chill in her room so she went to get a sweater from her closet, and lo and behold, the Ficus was there.

"There's no way you can get rid of me, Cali. Yeah, you're stuck with me."

She screamed as she got the ficus and threw it out the window where Cody was talking a walk and the ficus hit him on the head and landed in front of him with a red ribbon.

"A ficus? For me? Oh I've always wanted one!" he said hugging the ficus and taking it home and putting it near his desk while he did his homework.

"Hey, you have the wrong math formula," the Ficus said.

"No I don't," Cody said.

"It's wrong, I'm telling you," the Ficus tormented.

"I know I'm right…wait a minute, are you talking to me?" Cody said quizzically to the Ficus.

"About time," the ficus retorted.

"I'm…gonna sleep and hopefully I will stop talking to trees," he said falling asleep.

Then he felt a slap on his head and it was a ficus branch.

"Not until you're done with your homework," pointed out the ficus.

"You're not my mother! You're a ficus! And how the hell did you slap me?"

"There are things in this world that remain to be secrets.

Cody screamed and threw the ficus on the street where Julie was driving by and it landed on the roof of her car and she had no idea and kept on driving.

When she got home she saw the ficus and decided to take it to her room and sleep for a while before starting her homework.

"Hey Julie! Need help falling asleep?" the ficus whispered.

"I'm fine," Julie yawned.

"Rock-a-by-baby on the tree tops! When the wind blows the cradle will rock!"

"I told you I don't need any help ficus, HOLD ON!"

"Great, some people are a little SLOW today, aren't they?"

"Trees aren't supposed to talk!"

"Because I'm no ordinary tree, I'm a FICUS! F-I-C-U-S! What does that spell?"

"Ficus?" Julie said quietly.

"Exactly!" the ficus exclaimed. "So, what are we going to do?"

Julie threw the ficus out the window and it landed ½ a mile away in Beau's yard. He saw it and decided his room was too plain and he needed to liven it up with some color.

"Hey Beau! Know who I am?"

"A ficus, I know," he said as he plopped down on his bed.

"I'm not a ficus, I'm A SUPER FICUS!"

"O…k…"

"Put a cape on me! NOW!" demanded the ficus.

"What happens if I don't?" Beau said closing his eyes.

Then the ficus slapped him and pulled the sheets from under him and he rolled on the floor.

"DO IT OR I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!"

"Yes Master Ficus!" he said putting a cape on the ficus.

"Turn on the radio," and Beau did and the song "Macarena" came on.

"Now do the Macarena," the ficus demanded.

While Beau did the Macarena, the ficus got a camera and recorded this moment

--THE NEXT DAY--

Beau had dark circles under his eyes and almost tripped over air.

"What's wrong, Beau?" asked Cali.

"You wouldn't believe me," he said.

"It's not as bad as a talking ficus," Cali said under her breath.

"THE FICUS!" he yelled and curled up into the fetal position and started sucking his thumb.

"The ficus got to you?" asked Cali.

He nodded and Cali randomly pulled out a match and her and Beau got the same idea.

"BURN THE FICUS!"

After band Beau and Cali went to his room where the ficus was and the ficus was in a lawn chair with a glass of water and a little umbrella in it.

"Oh my ficus lord-et!" TODAY WE BURN THEE!" Beau yelled as he threw the burning match on the ficus and threw it out the window.

"The ficus made you do all that?" asked Cali.

"You don't know the half of it"

--WITH THE FICUS--

The ficus had been reborn into Becca again as she landed on her front lawn.

Damn that guy has some strength to throw a ficus 7 miles away," she said rubbing her sore butt she landed on.

"I must find something to re-create the feeling of a tropical paradise, a ficus friendly place! A ficus paradise for humans! Man I'm confused," as she passed out from brain damage.


	16. Chapter 16 Would you like a towel?

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Ch. 16 Would You Like a Towel?

By: Akira Darkin

As concert season had just stared, the colorguard was kicked out (except for Becca cause she joined forces with the all mighty band). As they days dragged on the band room seemed to be getting hotter and hotter. Although Cali said it was her and the smeximophones fault, everyone knew it was something even more dramatic.

One day as Alex, Miranda and Becca were walking down Mrs. Schmicter (Smejkal/Richter) were waiting at the band room entrance with the doors closed, bath robes on and a huge stack o' towels that was labeled "stack o' towels" were off to the side.

"Would you like a towel?" asked Mrs. Schmicter holding out some towels for the three confused bandies.

"Why would we?" asked Miranda.

"How 'bout a bathrobe?" Mrs. Schmicter asked pointing down the hall at the new brand of bathrobes that were in all different colors.

Becca decided to take a towel so she could just get inside and hopefully the day would end.

As she entered she was hit with a wall of steam and all the band people were sweating like pigs. Then Cody was also inside, instructing everyone to "leave their shoes at the door."

Alex was in a daze, Miranda was confused and Becca being Becca was looking at everything with a "wtf" look.

"Does this happen often?" asked Becca.

Everyone in the band room shouted no as the huge band room was now known as a sauna.

As the very last band person entered Mrs. Richter stood on the podium instructing everyone to shut their traps or projectiles in her reach would be thrown.

"As you all know, the band room is now a sauna," everyone groaned. "It's a very funny story on how it happened. See, the thing is our heater was hotter than usual. One day it decided to send out steam. Since the school is too cheep to do anything about it, we decided to make it a bit fun and turn the band room into a sauna."

"But its too hot!" someone shouted from the back of the band room.

"Oh suck it up!" Mrs. Richter shouted throwing a pink highlighter in the general direction from where the voice came from.

As the band TRIED (the key word there) to play, they sounded like crap, (what else is now? -dodging flying instrument cases-).

Finaly Mrs. Richter's ears couldn't take it any more so she decided to stop for the day since no one could stand the heat.

"Stupid heater!" a percussionist said kicking the heater and a faint "thud" was heard and it started cooling down.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief as the band room slowly went back to normal.

The next day when Becca, Alex and Miranda were about to enter, Mrs. Schmicter was holding out heavy fur parkas.

"Would you like a parka?" they said in unison.

Becca peaken in the window to see that in the band room it was snowing.

"When will the chaos end?" Alex pleaded to the ceiling.

Then there was a ray of sunlight shinign through all the windows that made all the snow melt in an instant.

All the band members inside groaned and went back to their seats.

"Now that all the snow is gone, what are we going to do with all the parkas?" Mrs. Smejkal asked the ceiling again. Then the parkas disappeared into thin air leaving everyone in awe.

Then a little note floated through the air and Becca caught it and read it out loud.

Fear my almighty power!

The ceiling


	17. Chapter 17 final the nightmare

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Ch. 17 (THE LAST ONE) The NIGHTMARE!

By: Akira Darkin

A/N: Ok, I know the last few chapters were REALLY late, but this is the last one I'm gonna write…I'm gonna rest this year and hopefully make another marching Indians story for my senior year! HOPE YOU ENJOYED MAH RANDOMNESS

As Mrs. Richter was driving to the high school one day, she felt like something bad was going to happen. She shrugged off the feeling and drove into the teacher's parking lot and went in the band room entrance. For some reason all of the band lockers were empty. Mrs. Richter was happy since she assumed that all of her students had taken their instruments home to practice. She jumped for joy as she soon waited for 7th hour to come along to congratulate the band with candy.

When 7th hour came everyone greeted her, yet she noticed everyone had small cases, including the tubas.

Mrs. Richter was confused and she shrugged it off until THE MOMENT happened.

As everyone got their instruments out, they were all FLUTES.

"Ha ha, very funny guys, get your real instruments out," she said standing on the podium.

"Actually, we all decided to play the flute from now on," Hunter (an ex-trumpet player) said.

Mrs. Richter's eyes widened and the color drained out of her face.

"1…1…146 FLUTES?!" she stuttered.

Everyone nodded and she fainted.

When she woke up she was in the office with the drum majors fanning her with flute music.

"When did we decide to have a band of flutes?" she asked them.

"The students decided, you have no choice," Julie said.

Mrs. Richter let out a high pitched scream that broke all the windows in the school and broke the tympanic membrane (aka the eardrum) of everyone. The whole school went home early since everyone was now eardrum-less.

When Mrs. Richter was in the hospital for severe trauma she couldn't understand why the whole band would switch over to the flutes, even though she thought trumpets were so much better.

After a week passed from being in the hospital she returned to Mascoutah High hoping for this horrible dream to pass. When she waked in the room however, she didn't see 146 flutes, she was 146 piccolos.

"Yo-You're kidding right?" she was hoping someone would jump up and shout "April fools" in the middle of March.

Everyone shook their head and she screamed as loud as she could running out of the band room and realizing she ran off the edge of the world.

She then was startled awake and found herself in her room in her bed.

"What a horrible nightmare!" she thought "a huge band or flute ensemble!"


End file.
